Trust me when I say that I've really got a lot of time on my hands to think of every darn thing about everything... And these days I'm trying to find out what is it really for which I'm here? Am I suppose to just do all the mundane tasks the people , the society or the government expects me to do? Or am I expected to contribute something for the greater good and all the big things the bourgeois love to talk about.. Isn't it suppose to be my choice, my decision to do what I feel like doing? Of course within the laws of nature and mankind... But shouldn't everyone have that individual freedom to go on a part which is not bound by typical roads to successful life built by previous generations? Be it the institution of marriage, education, corporations...
Our ancestors have fought all their lives for the freedom .. Be it the freedom from monarchy , colonialism, slavery.. I think they mustn't have thought about the freedom that holds more value... People always are fond of blaming the failures on the person next to them.. Why aren't you successful as the western countries? Because we were ruled by others.. We didn't have freedom to do what we wanted to do... For me, it's not the freedom you get by begging someone to give it to us... Or even fighting to get it... Isn't it the thing we feel when we breath and no longer feel we are obligated to someone's approval for your doings . I believe that's when you are truly free ..
When you no longer feel someone daunting you do something you never wanna do. .. And moreover when you don't accuse someone else for making you do things .. "My parents made me do it, I had to take that job, I had to stay in loveless marriage" .. NO . .. Absolutely NO.. You can not accuse anyone for the stupidity you do. Take risks, take all the chances you get . .. Try to live your life as the way you were dreaming it to be.. More than anything else... More than having your own villa or own car, own island... My dear your own self has to free to do all that and more . .. I don't think people who kill themselves are cowards.. I think they just don't find what they truly want our suppose to do in this life .. I think nobody senses their loneliness or the help they need... And ending the aimless journey seems like doing the right thing...
It's difficult to understand your own mind than any complicated book you would have ever read.. I'm trying to find what is it that I have to do... I hope I don't give up before it's too soon!
